My clients have been such wonderful teachers to me over many years and particularly now during this coronavirus virus crisis. The resilience of our human spirit has inspired me as I have known and been witness to deep suffering--the loss of a child, accidents, abuse, and many other types of traumas. This pandemic is particularly challenging for parents trying to manage their own anxiety and keep their children occupied and soothed. Critical thoughts, comparisons with others and unrealistic expectations will invariably lead to increased distress.

Last week I spoke with a client who was feeling judgmental about his parenting and very shaken. We spoke about tools and ways he had worked on the trauma he initially came into treatment to address. In the following session this same client told me about going to the park with his children. The park had all play equipment closed off. He knew the kids would be disappointed to not be able to climb and swing as they usually did at the park. My client had thought ahead and dressed the children in full galoshes and rain gear. The children spent a joyous time in the mud, making mud pies with delight and playfulness. Watching his children grow muddier by the moment, my client was reminded of the words of Vietnamese teacher, Ticht Nacht Han: “No mud No Lotus.”

Flexibility, curiosity, compassion, acceptance help us all when we are living with such uncertainty. In counseling this client worked on those qualities which helped him heal and find more ease in his life. Now, the fruits of his efforts for his personal trauma are serving him.

When we are stressed, we can regress. When we feel fear, we can revert to our trauma brain and the fight, flight and freeze response. When we pause, find the ground, breathe, settle, and nourish ourselves we can see more clearly. We all need one another now more than ever, reach out for support and give it out. Together we can blossom like a lotus.